A Crazy Baby

Yesterday felt impossible to me. I opened up my Facebook and it was all negative, protesting, differing views, differing lies, conspiracies and it just felt impossible. Impossible in the grand scheme of humanity. How can we ever fix this? How do we find a way back to each other? How do we find truth where there are false narratives? Do we just keep breaking apart until the US become 172 different states? "Hi, I'm from Alabamafornia... We cover our pizza in avocado and gravy." (But not, guacamole... you'd have to move to New Mexenessee for THAT shit.) It feels like a game of Chutes & Ladders. Just how many rabbit holes are there??? "WILL SOMEBODY PUT THE SAFETY ON OLD BETSY???"

But I'm grateful. I'm not sure if it's having a two year old and life hasn't changed much in that regard, or that I'm starting a photography business and have a ton to do... Maybe I'm just in pure denial? But I've been doing okay since this all began. I haven't been on social media too much? And yesterday, for sure, I just closed my computer full stop and did what I could to ground myself & stay present rather than die inside. To shift any energy that would send me spiraling.

I was grateful when Lliam came home that I had an hour before bed to quick hop in my studio and do some 'homework' for one of my lighting masterclasses. Because humans are scarce these days, Ruby hates being photographed & Lliam always looks like he escaped the North Pole, I bought a beautiful mannequin bust that I've named 'Fancy.' (She came disassembled, which was terrifying). But she's been great for practice. However, just to double check my eye, I quick asked Lliam to bring Rubes in for a quick shot so I could see if real people (Sorry, Fancy!) would light the same.

Well, Rubes was in a rare mood and was super excited to play in Mom's studio?!!! So for the ten minutes that lasted-- despite the fact she was in her diaper & smeared in a million things she ate that day-- I took full advantage and just let her do her thang. She was DONE immediately after, of course, but definitely had to share these because they bring me such joy!!!

She's SUCH a pain in my butt.

She is my ENTIRE heart.

She is out of control.

She's a snuggler.

She loves to get in my things.

She loves to dance.

She begs all day for 'sweet treats' (God give me patience).

And she just brings me all the joy...

She has a million personalities. She's the godfather... She's the crackhead in the insane asylum. She's shooting off into space. She's Inside the Actor's Studio.... She's totally her mom. She's totally her dad. She's a NUT. And I can't wait to see who she becomes...

I hope these pictures bring you some joy in the chaos! xoxo

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