Sunday October 13th was the full moon and I always try to honor that time as best I can with some self reflection. One of my favorite go-tos for all things 'woo woo' is The Power Path. If you click here, you can see their October forecast.
As a subscriber, you get an email that is a little more in depth. They say:
"Take the aggressive quality of this full moon to take that courageous action and to release some pattern, habit, person, job, routine, attitude, belief, identity, history, object, resentment, resistance, anger, shame or disappointment. If it ready to be released, the emotional pain will not last long in the wake of a tremendous freedom of thought, creativity and inspiration as you move forward.
There is always resistance to change on some level. Work with the change of the season. Those of us in the Northern Hemisphere can use the Autumn as an ally as we accept the effortless actin of the leaves that fall and the plants that wither and become compost. And so it is with the old and no longer useful attachments in our lives."
(Isn't that an autumn analogy a gorgeous sentiment?)
When I went through my list of patterns, habits, resistances, beliefs, etc., taking the time to disect each chunk one by one-- damn, Gina! There were soooo many ways I beat myself, treat myself with unkindness and doubt. So many belief systems, running in my hamster wheel mind that are all pretty damn negative. Which ultimately, leads to soooo much hiding and living small. Which equals= BULLSHIT!!!! ;)
I'm not sure when that happened. In my 20's I was on stage constantly performing sketch & comedy improv. I had goals and aspirations. And while I still do, I loathe being seen. All of those anxieties and doubts double as a mom when you're feeling tired & lifeless and your body becomes a series of sacks, squishes and dimples. You see pictures of who you once were and look in the mirror to an all too 'real' version of reality. (LOVED the movie Tully! by the way) Or just to be a woman in our society doing her best to age gracefully, it can feel pretty brutal to look in the mirror. And that's just the outside!
One of the tapes that always plays is me running myself into the ground-- for others, at my jobs and in pursuit of my creative endeavors. I rarely take time these days for my spirituality. It's not that I don't want to, but motherhood, man... We give and we give and we give. We put ourselves on the back burner until everything is okay. And when we do, what's left? When I mediate, connect with nature, get to be in quiet, it's a rare treat.
So tonight, with the limited time I had, I put on a face mask I got for free from somewhere (?) and took a minute to let more than the moisturizer soak in. I sat with the intention of self care and the reminder that I create my life. I create time for myself.
I CREATE MY LIFE. I CREATE TIME FOR MYSELF.
It might be worth taking a moment to ponder: "What life am I currently creating?"
And then put on a face mask and take photos while saying in a slowly deep, disturbing voice, "IT PUTS THE LOTION ON ITS SKIN."
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