Waiting for our house to close was really hard. We lived at the Red Roof Inn with two cats and a dog. I remember just feeling sick and overly exhausted. The whole experience, outside of these pictures, was a blur at the time-- and even blurrier now!
Lliam was back to work so Ruby and I did our best to go out for adventures-- visiting various orchards and farms, which I'll post more about later. We were also trying not to spend a lot of money when we had no choice to eat out every day, we had been living in hotels cross country and our broker was paying attention to every dime spent. It was a challenge!
Mostly, our little pork chop would only handle so much each day.
She no longer wanted to be in her stroller AT ALL so anywhere we went had to be a place she couldn't get her little paws on things. And if she was in her stroller, had to completely hold her attention which seemed to be virtually impossible.
In the mornings, we rallied to get out of the house and find something to do. But most of our late afternoons were spent at the hotel... waiting. Waiting for Papa to get home, waiting for our house to close, waiting for good news...
The Red Roof Inn isn't exactly 'the height of sophistication' as they say- ha! The rooms were in need of serious renovation and the stench of two cats and a dog in a small space felt really depressing.
We did the best we could to thrive but it's just one of those crazy times. You've no choice but to to choose patience and sit with the moment. And the success of that concept was a bit of a rollercoaster ride.
Again, out of sheer boredom, I picked up my camera.
I love this little stinker soooo much. I can only describe a mother's love as heartbreaking because it breaks YOU. I want to shake her and eat her and squeeze her to death with how much I love her. And yet to love something that much isn't fair. Your love has to exceed all of those desires to be willing to let this little human grow into her own and eventually become her own person. And eventually leave!! And be excited about it??!!!
Every day she gets older, I have to say goodbye to that soft skin... those chunky thighs... those slobbery kisses. More and more, she grows up... it's gut-wrenching. Not that spending a summer in Europe (that's my big dream) won't be the best time ever with a young adult... But OH!!! I love the neck meat of my baby... the squeeze of her little arms around my neck.
Then you watch the 'Aberfan' episode of the latest season of The Crown and you just lose your shit COMPLETELY. Rather than literally die inside, I cried what I could and then just compartmentalized that episode like The Queen herself, never to think about it again!!! It's just too unfathomable to think about. I can't even... I don't want to. Never again!!!! AHHHH!!! STOP TALKING ABOUT IT!!!
The crazy thing about motherhood is that the power to which you love... is also the power to which you can be annoyed in an instant. Ha!! I call it Bi-Polar Parenting-- to love her to such an endless degree, to only want to throw her off the roof a half second later. She just got into everything. It was exhausting.
She's really good at being a baby.
My daughter's 'go to' comfort pose is thumb sucking with her left hand and pulling on the back of her hair with her right.
Love this beautiful light. She can be such a crank!!! Hahaha...
We must have gone through 146,000 boxes of cheez-its. She would whine and beg for them and I'd finally give some to her. (Trying to get her to eat anything other than cheez-its alone!) And she'd turn around with a little patty-full and give them straight to the dog!!! Ahhhh!!!
THIS dog. Sadie... She is such a goober in this picture. The girl with the sweetest brown eyes that is tough as nails, a total bitch most of the time and has exceptionally high anxiety. I could play with her all day and she'd still need my constant attention. *sigh*
And this is is Sophie-- or Sophatilla-- or Tilla... The cats did okay. When they feel like their souls are being sucked out, they just resign to sleep and go with it. Ha! Sadie, not so much.
Soooo grateful we are in our house now and our bedroom is almost done!! It'll be somewhere to escape. And we can paint the living room & kitchen before Christmas. Ohhhh... I'm so looking forward to it!!! All that to say... There's still so much to do, a lot that requires patience but I am grateful as all get out that we're no longer living in a hotel. Gratitude, gratitude, gratitude. A very thankful Thanksgiving coming up indeed. xoxo