Nightbirde

A friend shared Nightbirde's (Jane's Marczewski) passing tonight over Instagram. I don't watch America's Got Talent so I wasn't familiar with her. But after sharing how much her story meant to him, I was intrigued and took a listen at her original audition.


Please, definitely do yourself 180,495 favors and feel free to watch it here:



I hope you don't mind that I usurp the experience to tell you what/how I am feeling in this moment. But here is a woman with a single year left to live. She auditions for America's Got Talent. And as she tells her story, she teaches-- not only in lyrics-- but in her presence alone, how to-- truly-- live a life with wisdom, passion, vulnerability and grace. I'm just beyond moved... beyond inspired... beyond blessed to have gotten to experience this song and her story, even after her passing.


With that said, we only get one life. ONE. And when she says "You can't wait until life isn't hard anymore before you decide to be happy." Fuuuuuuuuuuuck. It's just a call to radical accountability, isn't it? Maybe something different for all of us?


How many of us are waiting for the payoff? Waiting to get there? Waiting for the glory? Waiting to be able to pay our bills? Waiting to feel better? Waiting until we have stability? Certainty. "That's what will make me happy."


When you have a year left to live, there are no certainties. If she was able to put herself out there while staring death in the face, what does that make the rest of us? People that are selling ourselves a bill of goods in the mirror every day. Unwilling to do the hard things. Noncompliant with the directions we're given on the back of our own boxes to sparkle and shine. To LIVE. What... a... wasteeeee.


Also, this gorgeous, loving idea that it's all okay when life goes to shit. It's all okay when we feel completely lost. It's okay to change your mind a million times. To make mistakes. To try for something and succeed. To try for something and fail. On my wild ride, this just gives me soooo much grace when I review all of my hard lefts, failures and turns-- a way I choose to live life-- that doesn't make sense to most people. Definitely not a normal society. Maybe this girl who is so hard on herself, sometimes gets something right?


I'm not even sure what I'm trying to say here... It just spoke to me deeply and I never like to waste a teachable moment. It's my favorite and most annoying trait. ;)


Can we love ourselves enough to change our hopeless, graceless narratives? Can we decide to be out of excuses? xoxo



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