After the holidays, I was all "Woohoo, the New Year!" for a good 2 & 1/2 seconds. We painted the living room and dining room. Then we took off a weekend cause we needed it. Lliam wasn't feeling well. Last weekend we knocked out painting the ceiling. This weekend, Lliam's finishing something... I totally don't remember what it is. And that is my brain on motherhood...
Now, I am sick! I should have known... I took a nap last week and I NEVER nap. I think I'm just entirely wiped out. It's been a crazy six months and the I think the holidays were brutal on a lot of folks this year.
(These photos are pre-holidays, when Lliam was still working on our bedroom... Such a good Papa).
Our renter moves out in February (*sniff, sniff*) which means Lliam can start on the bathroom because we'll have a spare in the meantime. 'Mima' will be here for a few weeks in February and Aunt Mary, Lliam's sister, will also be visiting around that time. While I'm a bit run down, I'll be sooo crazy excited to see family and to see how Ruby interacts with them!! :) And truthfully, I'll be grateful for the support... Maybe get my hair done? Go for a fast walk where a small dog isn't biting her leash or a toddler isn't slowly collecting every rock or trying to eat ALL the dirt.
As a mother, nothing stops. The world keeps turning and really doesn't give a rip you're sick. "That stuff can wait!" is suuuuch a joke. Mothers know this. The cats are all over me cause we're out of cat food. Sadie is always high anxiety. Dinner needs to be made or veggies go bad. And when you're sick, you really need to focus on eating healthy stuff which means you have to make it. Laundry needs to be done because my kid needs the right pajamas or she gets cold at night. And then the ins and outs of snacks, bottles, playtime all day. Rest when??? It's just a million things that mothers juggle and if you lose a ball, YOU'RE DONE. And while you can set one down here or there, a majority of the balls can't NOT be juggled.
I'm just gonna say balls one more time. ;)
I also started a comedy improv class at Asheville Improv Collective. I needed to do something that involved adults, where people didn't speak 'toddler.' The one class I've gotten to go to was awesome and I had a blast!! But it's something else that took my energy when I was already a bit run down last week. Whoopsie...
With that said, if I have any 'intentions' or goals for the New Years, it's learning to cope with anxiety in healthy ways, when there is no downtime. I know this eventually gets easier as she gets older and heads to school but I can't wait for everything to be perfect to feel good in my every day life. Nor, do I want to wish away my time with her. So, when my kid is napping and I'm doing the dishes, I try to think about ways I can bring more calm, balance and presence into my life. Any suggestions from other Mommas?
And that's where we're at right now. Watching Blippi for the 18 millionth time...(the stuff you say you'd never let your kid watch) and taking it one day at a time. Oy vey... xoxox