Every day I pull cards for myself (tarot or oracle) to help direct where I should invest my energy for the day. Many people think tarot is fortune telling. It's really not. It's a stamp on your energy at the moment, kind of like how astrology is a stamp on where the stars are at the time of your birth. Knowing what is going on inside of us can oftentimes be an excellent guidepost for where we need to make changes in our lives. And on many occasions, these decks have asked questions of me that really make me think.
So as these thoughtful questions come up, I thought I'd put them out to you. :)
Today's question being: What are you carrying that isn't yours?
For a brief second, I was like, "Yeah, I probably take on a little energy of other people but I'm really fine." When I began to REALLY think about it, however, it became glaringly obvious just what it is I pack onto these really tired shoulders!
Here's some examples...
1) Election Results-- Because if I know all of the news, I can control the outcome. Because if I post to social media, I can control the outcome. Because if I can help change anyone's opinion, I can save the planet. *Cue long laughter here*
I have zeroooo control over what happens in this election aside from the ballot I cast. I can make calls, sign petitions, do my part... But how many hours/days/weeks/months have I put the weight of the world solely on my shoulders? Way too freaking often. I cannot control what happens November 3rd. Nor can any of us. We can only do what we can do. When the results are in, we get to make a new set of choices about the people we want to be and how we can be proactive for change in a healthy way.
2) The Happiness, Expectations & Success of Friends and Family-- This one is huuuuge. Is Ruby happy? Is Lliam happy? Are my sisters happy? Are my parents happy? I have to make them happy. Am I screwing up my kid? Is Lliam overworked and does he hate my guts? Am I cooking the right food when we have visitors? Are they comfortable? How can their journey be easier? How can I fix their circumstances? Oh my gosh... these questions could be endless.
Especially when it comes to people we care about, I think a lot of us just want everything to be okay!! But sometimes people need to find their own way. You can NEVER make anyone else happy. You can NEVER will someone into success and happiness (I suppose you can but it'd have disastrous results). THEY have to make happiness for themselves, they have to make their own changes... They have to do their OWN work to 'up-level' their existence on their OWN journey... in their OWN timing...
It's very easy to see other people on Oprah's couch and see where the poor choices have been made, etc. But when we're on the couch, it isn't so easy, is it? We're all excuses just as much as anybody. All that we can offer our loved ones is our positive example with a dose of radical compassion, standing firmly in our own boundaries.
3) Climate Change-- It recently has been smacked in my face that everything we have ever used in our lives, is on this planet. I thought you could recycle until the end of time but you only have a few gos, and it's only certain plastics. Every pair of shoes you've ever owned, all of Ruby's toys and diapers, every bicycle or that pair of boots you wore in 1984... It is ALL on this planet somewhere. The amount of plastic we throw out in a lifetime is both astounding and horrific.
Especially when it comes to climate change, it feels hopeless. I want Ruby and her potential kids to have the same green existence, I grew up in. I want her to have air to breathe and a life! Beautiful places she can visit, etc.
But the truth is... I can't carry the entire health of the planet alone. I'm only one person and my gifts aren't in the plastic problem solving department. I can only do what I can do. I can recycle. I can donate to scientists and creators doing 'God's work' and volunteer where I can. Our collective choices matter but it starts (and ends) with me.
4) Corporate Greed-- OMGGGGG, it's ruining everythinggg, am I right???? We've all continuously watched CEOs get richer and richer while people working 40 hours a week can't even afford rent, let alone other expenses. The minimum wage is laughable and humiliating. They're also driving out mom and pop shops and when that happens, who's left making decisions about what we consume? A whole lotta rich white guys I don't trust. But as I've said before and I'll say it again... The entire weight of this, is not mine to carry. The best thing I can do is to truly create my own life so that I not only have money and power but a seat at the decision making table.
5) The Opinions of Others-- With the introduction of social media into our mainstream world, it's hard not to think about what others think of us! How are we perceived? Did that comment come out right? F*CK, they STILL hate me... I STILL can't convince them. Does your authenticity and 'being yourself' disappoint people? All that stuff. This is a whole blog on it's own, really, but how people 'take you' isn't a burden to bare. Guess what? We get to be who we are. We get to stand in our power. We get to be as authentic as possible. Not everyone is 'for' us... But the people who are, are crazy excited to know you. You're everything to them. That's all that really matters.
So here are just a few examples of what I've been carrying that isn't mine. But let me be clear, folks... This isn't a resignation toward apathy. We all have a part to play and choices to make. But that's the whole point, we HAVE power. Where are we giving it away? Where in our lives can we put the weight down?
For these times, I feel like it's a great question... It's time to let go and trust that if we're doing our part, the universe has our back. Would love to hear your thoughts... xoxox